On Christmas Day Ivy would have turned 5 months old.

25 has turned out to be a sad number for me. All things 25 should have been joyous when I think about it.

•The 25th of July should have been one of the best days of my life – it was the worst, second only to the day Ivy died.

•The 25th of December should have been a joyous family Christmas – it will be tinged with sadness.

•On the 29th of December I turn 25. The foundation for the rest of my life would have been complete. I love to plan but even the best laid plans can fail.

I need something to immerse myself in & the hunt for a job continues. Another application finished today with a non-profit org with a cause I really want to get behind so hopeful that something comes from that. It’s quite disheartening when you spend hours on an application only to receive a rejection email 😦
I just want to ask them to give me a break because if anybody deserves one it’s me, surely!


12 thoughts on “25

  1. sorry about your loss. I lost mine 1 1/2 year ago. This would have been my child’s 2nd christmas but I have no child to hold. Like you, I also need to find a job after this loss to find a new direction and keep my mind in focus. I hope you will land the job you wanted!


    • Thank you 🙂
      I received a phone call an hour ago to say I was unsuccessful after my interview, but that it had been very close & to keep applying with them for jobs. Very disheartened and ‘woe is me’ right now.
      It’s just disappointing.
      Sending you my love – you & Adam will be in my thoughts. Not feeling the Christmas spirit this year sadly 😦 xx


      • I am so sorry. I have also had work set backs sprinkled amongst the other sufferings of the last few years. If nothing else, I do believe we will be more appreciative, compassionate, and prepared for all of the nexts. Make sure you pamper yourself this season and surround yourself with friends and family who make you laugh. I will try to so the same. I am rooting for you. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Sorry to hear of your troubles.
        Today I had an excellent soup – it sounds ridiculous but I took the time to enjoy that soup & really acknowledge how it was one of the best I’ve ever had! Ridiculous, but appreciating that soup felt good in that moment.

        Sound advice – much welcome. Thank you xx

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Amanda.

    I hope you had a good Christmas, Birthday and New Year. All the best for 2015. I wish you all the luck in the world, fingers crossed for a new job soon!

    Lots of love xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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